If you're like me, you struggle with keeping your house in order and clean, the kids on task to help, and most importantly, doing it all with the right attitude.
Teaching our kids how to take care of their things (and our things) is part of growing up and learning stewardship. Are you being intentional in how you go about teaching that? One day after getting on my kids for all the things they weren't doing to help me around the house, I had to admit that I hadn't been very intentional about training them to do it. I had taught them how to clean and put away, but I wasn't encouraging them in it. I expected them to see all the things around the house that needed to get done, and do it. I also expected them to do it with very little encouragement or reward. Here are a few tips I've learned and have helped us work towards a system of taking care of the house TOGETHER!
Have a plan
If I fail to implement a plan, I am planning to fail. Most children don't naturally want to do chores. They usually don't volunteer to help around the house. And they most certainly don't "see" all that needs to get done the way mom does. So we must teach them. As my kids have gotten bigger, I've started a few different chore systems. If the system is cumbersome to establish or to follow through on, or if it is overly dependent on me to work, it will quickly be abandonned. Often, we will start out strong, and then I'll forget to put the stickers on the chart, or calculate how much they've done and what I owe them, or fill out the next week's list of to-do items. And before you know it, we're essentially living like we don't have a system.
Let them be a part in establishing the system
My kids will be much more enthusiastic about our new chore system, if there is a craft involved. So, I bought 4 jars at Hobby Lobby for $1 each. I let the kids pick out their own wooden decoration and we decorated our jars with stickers and paint. I also bought a bag of pre-colored wooden blocks for about $3. These jars were going to help us keep track of work accomplished.
If they are old enough, let them keep track of their progress
It's not my job to keep track of what they've done or haven't done. With 4 kids to keep up with, I can't use up valuable brain cells on this! With our system, every time they do a chore it is their responsibility to come and add a wooden block from my jar into theirs. Every block is worth $.25. Chores that are more difficult can be worth more blocks.
Establish what the daily chores are that need to be done for each child There are certain things that need to be done everyday, and that changes based on the age of the child. For us right now, that includes making the bed, brushing teeth, getting dressed, keeping their rooms clean, putting away their laundry, doing their own dishes and helping keep toys picked up. Those things are expected. We've determined that all those things are worth a quarter every day. Those chores need to be done without my reminding and in a timely manner.
Reward them for taking initative
When they choose to do a chore (without my asking) they can earn extra blocks. It's been amazing to me to observe this. If they know there is a reward (a quarter) waiting for them, they miraculously know that the dishes need to be washed after every meal, or that the dog poop needs to be picked up. I realize that life doesn't always reward us moms for every time we take care of something that needs to be taken care of. However, that responsiblility has to be learned some time. Why not encourage it at young age? It's a whole lot better than the alternative: frustrated mommy yelling at her kids for not helping out more around the house.
Involve the little ones
If you have younger kids too, involve them. Kids as little as 3 can help pick up toys, organize the silverware drawer, wipe the counter off. Our 3 year old loves doing something just like her big brother and sister. She loves to put a block in her jar for helping mom. Earning quarters isn't quite on her radar yet, but she does love an occassional trip to the dollar bins at Target!
Delegate!
My kids are very good at reminding me to pay up. However, that's one very important detail I'm good at putting off. Your system is only as good as your willingness to be consistent at it. So, delegate areas that you are weak in to your spouse. If the whole family is involved in some way, you are more likely to be successful.
Model the right attitude
Lastly, it's important for us to model the right attitude about our chores. Being a mom involves a lot of thankless, unseen service to our families. I often remind myself of Jesus' words: "What you've done unto the least of these, you've done unto me." Matt 25:40. Somehow in God's amazing economy, our countless loads of laundry and endless meal preparation and upkeep of our homes are seen. They are seen by Him.
Our home routines and housekeeping are a long way off from what I would call being a "well-oiled machine." We are still working at it, and a lot of training still needs to be done; both for my kids and for me.
What are some of the things you're doing that are working in your house?
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